This blog is not meant to be a highlight reel of perfect teaching moments. It's a raw and honest look at the evolution of a teacher's heart and mind. My hope is that by sharing my story, I can connect with other educators who are navigating similar terrain. Here, I'll unpack the challenges that have tested my resolve, the lessons learned (often the hard way), and those inevitable moments that define the reality of teaching.
Perhaps my reflections will resonate with your own experiences, offering a sense of shared understanding and perhaps even a spark of inspiration. Unfortunate events are usually the catalyst of any major change, but exploring this is not the aim of my blog. Rather, I want to focus on the process of change, the often messy, emotional, and ultimately human experience of navigating growth, learning, and transformation, regardless of what sparked it. I'm interested in the journey itself, the internal shifts and external adjustments we make as we adapt and evolve.
For those of you who followed my blog during my university years, you might notice a distinct shift in tone and focus. The philosophy-obsessed student, fueled by late nights, Adderall prescriptions, and the unpredictable waves of hypomania that masked deeper struggles, has evolved. While my passion for learning and exploring complex ideas remains, the lens through which I view the world has changed dramatically. University was a whirlwind of intellectual exploration, but it was also a time of unacknowledged and unaddressed trauma. I navigated those years by riding the highs, often mistaking the energy and focus provided by hypomania for genuine well-being. It allowed me to achieve academically, to earn those degrees, but it was a temporary and ultimately unsustainable solution.
This means facing the difficult emotions, processing past experiences, and learning healthier coping mechanisms. It's a journey that's far more challenging than the manic energy that propelled me through university, but it's also far more authentic and sustainable. This blog will reflect that shift. It will be less about abstract philosophical debates and more about the lived experience of integrating personal growth with professional development, of finding balance and healing while navigating the rewarding but demanding world of education.
Acknowledging and addressing my trauma is not just a personal journey; it's an integral part of becoming the best educator I can be. We can't fully support our students if we're not taking care of ourselves. It's like trying to pour from an empty cup. For years, I operated from a place of unacknowledged trauma, relying on coping mechanisms that, while effective in the short term, ultimately hindered my own growth and well-being. How could I truly empathize with my students' struggles, model healthy emotional regulation, or create a safe and supportive learning environment if I wasn't doing that work for myself? Turning the focus inward, examining the things that prevent me from being my best self, is not selfish; it's essential. It's about recognizing that personal growth and professional development are intertwined. By addressing my own challenges, I can show up more fully for my students, bringing not just my knowledge and expertise, but also genuine empathy, resilience, and a deeper understanding of the human experience. This blog will explore that connection, the messy and beautiful process of healing and growth, and how it informs and enhances my role as an educator.
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